So I'll be completely honest with you. I am horrible when it comes to managing money. When I was young I spent some of my savings on a new car and then I spent the rest paying off my stupidity through accidents and speeding tickets. Then I spent money on eating out constantly while always on the move and trying to pay high bills with low paying jobs. This year alone I have racked up 4 part time jobs in order to pay off all that I have to... Car, Phone, Insurance, Loan, etc... Some months I was ahead of the game and on top of the bills, but most months I was crushed underneath overdrafts, late fees and high interest rates and having to ask mom for help. And only last month was my car in danger of repossession.
So safe to say, it's time for a change. So I decided (no really this time) to finally get my game together. I want to be debt free. Seems like a ridiculous dream but with the right decisions and alot of work, I believe it can definitely happen. So Your probably asking why is she talking about all this? Well since I'm on this little journey to finally get on top of my debt... I figure I'd share this with all of you guys. Who knows maybe it will help someone and better yet maybe some of you can help me.
Anyways the first of my financial blogs is about making the decision to get debt free and then taking the actions to do it.
Action #1: Study about personal finance, managing money, getting debt free, etc!
I figured I can't complain about being broke and sucking at managing money if I never even studied how to manage my finances. So simple and yet it was a last resort. Just goes to show. lol So I rushed off the Barnes and Nobles and picked up something called "Personal Finances for Dummies" and started there. The book sounds ridiculous but theyre actually a really good resource. I brushed up on the basics of the entire book and felt like I found a really good place to start.
Also I was surfing the Liquid Church website and found this message. Life. Hope. Money. by a guy named Dave Ramsey. Seriously I was blown away and especially encouraged to actually get this thing rolling. He is Christian but what I love about him is that theres nothing crazy spiritual. Nothing nystical or magical. He just explains everything in such a practical way. I could sit here and explain it to you forever, but if you want a good resource and your interested, check it out for yourself! Hope it helps!
Feel free to leave comments, tips, stories...
http://morristown.liquidchurch.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=71737
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Distractions...
Wow its been a while since I even looked at my blog. Feels good to come back. I ran into an old friend that I haven't seen since high school and he said "I've been reading your blogs and they really good! I was blown away" (at least thats what I recall taking from the conversation... lol may not be verbatim), but just hearing those words made me so happy that at least one person... who knows maybe more... was getting something from what I was writing. So I decided to pick it up again. Here it goes.
Well as you know alot of my topics focus on relationships. Why you ask? I don't know. Just something I'm called to write about. Deal with it! :) So during the summer I realized how much of my life was focused on relationships. You know "finding the right one" and getting married and what not, especially when all summer I was surrounded by the wedding plans of a newly engaged (and now married) couple. (Who might I say I love dearly, and have seriously taught me and prepared me so much for what's ahead by answering all of my crazy questions) Even while I am single (because I choose to be... just not the right season in my life) this concept of relationships still consumes alot of my mind from time to time. Little by little I lost sight of God and what I was supposed to be really focusing on. And its not only me... I'm sure whether you are single, or with someone or you have recently separated or broke up with someone, this issue absorbs alot of your attention. But I want to share Something that God showed me recently that I think alot of us can relate to... "You've been seeking in the wrong places. You're looking here and there. You're looking for this person, but no more. You don't have to go anywhere. I'm bringing it foward."
Let me submit to you a scripture or two... (Don't believe in God? Take the scripture for what it is and hear me out. Maybe it will still be of some help)
"As God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let Him walk... Let each one remain in the state in which he was called." 1 Cor 7:17
"I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. How He may please the Lord.... The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. This I say for your own profit. Not that I may put you on a leash but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction." 1Corin 7:32
Now the first one says in whatever state we are called, remain there. I like this because alot of the times single people are always thinking "Well when am I gunna meet someone? I have to get married soon. Time is running out. I'm all alone." But God is saying stay where you are at. Not forever, but you may not need anyone right now. This is where God called you to be for right now for a reason.
I think one of the most important things I learned while being single is that, being single is just the preparation stage for a real relationship. Right now I'm learning more about myself and relationships and marriage than ever. We tend to think that our partners are the ones that bring out the best in us, but Ill tell you now, no one can bring out all the potential and gifts in you than you and God. God is trying to say use this time that your single wisely.
How? Well lets move to the next scripture. It says that the one who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. Let me give you another version.
"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."
Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. We were designed to want someone to share our life with and build a relationship with someone that both benefits and builds each other. But why are we trying to rush the whole thing? Alot of the time these relationships become a distraction rather than a benefit. I remember someone saying to me "Wow we spent so much time together I don't think I even had a chance to do the things I needed to with my own life." Even being single, the thoughts of finding someone alone are enough to consume alot of the space in your brain that should be used for figuring out what we want to do with our lives.
What I'm trying to say is don't be in a rush. Use this time to focus on the cares of the Lord. (And that's when you say "PSSSHHH! There she goes getting all religious again! UGH) But don't you realize? The cares of God are about you! Here's someone who wants to focus all his attention on you. You don't get any better than that. All He wants is what's best for you. He wants you to use this time, not to be constantly consumed with relationship issues or to put your whole self into someone else (there's a time and place for that... marriage) But right now He wants you to get to know Him. Focus on Him so He can tell you about you. You have so much more inside you than what you see. You have a gift, you have a purpose, you have things the world needs that can only be done by you. But you need to figure out what that is and fulfill it.
It says The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy in body and spirit. The word holy means WHOLE. God wants to make you whole before you allow anyone else to try and complete you. No one knows you better than your Creator. You don't know what to go to school for? You already went to school and have no idea still what you're doing with your life? (Yea alot of us were or are all there with you) Good thing is He wants to tell you. And guess what? your gunna love whatever it is because its something that He's already put inside you to enjoy.
And this doesn't only speak to the women either. This is for everyone. Use this time to find yourself. Find out who you are and what you want to do with your life. Your likes, your dislikes, your values, your calling... How can you expect to fully give yourself to someone else when you don't feel whole? Or how can you let someone get to know you when you don't even know you? Use this time to get to know what you want and need in life and in the meantime prepare for when God will give you someone. Marriage is the wrong thing to be wrong about so you better prepare for it now. Get whole. Don't be dependent on someone else to make you happy and "complete" you. The only one who can do that is Jesus because He knows you better than you know yourself.
And believe me, like Paul I don't say this to put anyone on a leash or restrict them, but only for benefit. Think about it. In order to get life straight you need to avoid distractions. Relationships are one of the biggest ones because all we do is worry or simply let it take up too much of our time.
Side note: If you are currently with someone, please don't disregard this either. Know that everything needs balance. Evaluate your relationship. How much does it consume your energy, time, thoughts, and emotions that could otherwise be spent figuring out just what it is you need to do with your life.
In the right time relationships have their place, just don't let them distract you or complicate your life so that you no longer can see what you really need to be doing.
Sorry that was so long. Guess I had alot packed in me. Anyways Thanks for reading!!!
Well as you know alot of my topics focus on relationships. Why you ask? I don't know. Just something I'm called to write about. Deal with it! :) So during the summer I realized how much of my life was focused on relationships. You know "finding the right one" and getting married and what not, especially when all summer I was surrounded by the wedding plans of a newly engaged (and now married) couple. (Who might I say I love dearly, and have seriously taught me and prepared me so much for what's ahead by answering all of my crazy questions) Even while I am single (because I choose to be... just not the right season in my life) this concept of relationships still consumes alot of my mind from time to time. Little by little I lost sight of God and what I was supposed to be really focusing on. And its not only me... I'm sure whether you are single, or with someone or you have recently separated or broke up with someone, this issue absorbs alot of your attention. But I want to share Something that God showed me recently that I think alot of us can relate to... "You've been seeking in the wrong places. You're looking here and there. You're looking for this person, but no more. You don't have to go anywhere. I'm bringing it foward."
Let me submit to you a scripture or two... (Don't believe in God? Take the scripture for what it is and hear me out. Maybe it will still be of some help)
"As God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let Him walk... Let each one remain in the state in which he was called." 1 Cor 7:17
"I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. How He may please the Lord.... The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. This I say for your own profit. Not that I may put you on a leash but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction." 1Corin 7:32
Now the first one says in whatever state we are called, remain there. I like this because alot of the times single people are always thinking "Well when am I gunna meet someone? I have to get married soon. Time is running out. I'm all alone." But God is saying stay where you are at. Not forever, but you may not need anyone right now. This is where God called you to be for right now for a reason.
I think one of the most important things I learned while being single is that, being single is just the preparation stage for a real relationship. Right now I'm learning more about myself and relationships and marriage than ever. We tend to think that our partners are the ones that bring out the best in us, but Ill tell you now, no one can bring out all the potential and gifts in you than you and God. God is trying to say use this time that your single wisely.
How? Well lets move to the next scripture. It says that the one who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. Let me give you another version.
"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."
Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. We were designed to want someone to share our life with and build a relationship with someone that both benefits and builds each other. But why are we trying to rush the whole thing? Alot of the time these relationships become a distraction rather than a benefit. I remember someone saying to me "Wow we spent so much time together I don't think I even had a chance to do the things I needed to with my own life." Even being single, the thoughts of finding someone alone are enough to consume alot of the space in your brain that should be used for figuring out what we want to do with our lives.
What I'm trying to say is don't be in a rush. Use this time to focus on the cares of the Lord. (And that's when you say "PSSSHHH! There she goes getting all religious again! UGH) But don't you realize? The cares of God are about you! Here's someone who wants to focus all his attention on you. You don't get any better than that. All He wants is what's best for you. He wants you to use this time, not to be constantly consumed with relationship issues or to put your whole self into someone else (there's a time and place for that... marriage) But right now He wants you to get to know Him. Focus on Him so He can tell you about you. You have so much more inside you than what you see. You have a gift, you have a purpose, you have things the world needs that can only be done by you. But you need to figure out what that is and fulfill it.
It says The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy in body and spirit. The word holy means WHOLE. God wants to make you whole before you allow anyone else to try and complete you. No one knows you better than your Creator. You don't know what to go to school for? You already went to school and have no idea still what you're doing with your life? (Yea alot of us were or are all there with you) Good thing is He wants to tell you. And guess what? your gunna love whatever it is because its something that He's already put inside you to enjoy.
And this doesn't only speak to the women either. This is for everyone. Use this time to find yourself. Find out who you are and what you want to do with your life. Your likes, your dislikes, your values, your calling... How can you expect to fully give yourself to someone else when you don't feel whole? Or how can you let someone get to know you when you don't even know you? Use this time to get to know what you want and need in life and in the meantime prepare for when God will give you someone. Marriage is the wrong thing to be wrong about so you better prepare for it now. Get whole. Don't be dependent on someone else to make you happy and "complete" you. The only one who can do that is Jesus because He knows you better than you know yourself.
And believe me, like Paul I don't say this to put anyone on a leash or restrict them, but only for benefit. Think about it. In order to get life straight you need to avoid distractions. Relationships are one of the biggest ones because all we do is worry or simply let it take up too much of our time.
Side note: If you are currently with someone, please don't disregard this either. Know that everything needs balance. Evaluate your relationship. How much does it consume your energy, time, thoughts, and emotions that could otherwise be spent figuring out just what it is you need to do with your life.
In the right time relationships have their place, just don't let them distract you or complicate your life so that you no longer can see what you really need to be doing.
Sorry that was so long. Guess I had alot packed in me. Anyways Thanks for reading!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Why is it you have no faith?
So the other morning I woke up in a serious panic. What am I doing with my life? I've got no real job, no money coming in... I'm 22 and sure I'm living for God, but what is it really getting me? I don't see any fruit. Does what I am doing even matter? Safe to say that was a huge load to be waking up under. Sometimes the mind just goes crazy.
Well just to let you in on a little bit of my story... A while ago God started showing me that my calling was in music and ever since then I have been striving to pursue it. Everyone knows it's not the easiest career choice, especially when it comes to doing it for the Kingdom of God. I don't have the exact vision laid out just yet, but its kinda like when God tells you to go west... you go west. No questions and really no answers. lol Against my doubts and fears, I started taking little steps and to my amazement God has brought me further than I ever thought I would be. But there's still a long way to go. God wants me to have an influence in music for His kingdom.
So recently I have run into a corner where it seems like nothing I do is really productive or useful or taking me anywhere. I'm having a hard time writing songs and staying focused enough to practice. I have been praying for a new job, something to develop me in the music industry (without having a degree or much experience), and then I lost many many hours at my jobs (i had four about a couple months ago lol). Its amazing how God answers prayers. I don't go to school because I don;t have money for it much less know exactly where I am supposed to be. On top of all that my parents (with love and concern) got on top of me about going to school and pursuing a real career, because thats what you need to do to get ahead in the world. So i am left with nothing... absolutely nothing before God (which I guess in essence is a greta place to be lol)
I'm sure somebody knows what I am talking about. The pressure, the fear, the worry, the doubt is completely overwhelming, especially when you don't hear God's voice clearly about it.
So I opened up to Mark 4:39 randomly while praying about it all. The disciples were in a boat and suddenly a great windstorm arose and the boat was covered with waves. And there's Jesus sleeping like a baby. So the disciples wake Him up in a PANIC and Jesus says "Peace, be still!" There is a great calm and He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? Why is it that you have no faith?"
Notice the fear comes on very suddenly. Its always when you've had a great week with God and you got into a flow of being productive.. your doing your thing, think you've got it all straight or at least starting to and then out of nowhere a huge storm! It comes upon you so suddenly sending you into a panic. Your covered in waves, overwhelmed by thoughts of the future. Well rejoice! Cuz you were doing something right! Think about it... Whos gunna try to crush you when your finally getting ahead?
And it probably seemed to them like Jesus had forgot He was supposed to take care of them. Like He had left them to fend for themselves. But like we see even in His sleep He has everything under control. He brought a great calm (in greek great means numerous, large, abundant). Peace.
So I say to myself (and to you, but mostly to myself) STAND UP and FIGHT! No more whining... No more looking at the difficulties in front of you. Start getting real with what you have and real with God's word. There's people who had to live in their cars just to make it and that was without God. If we believe we have to believe to the fullest right? It won't always be easy. In fact, i guarantee it will be hard. Don't compare yourself to others for their season of fruitfulness is not the same as yours. In a notebook, write down what you do see or want to see for your life and write above that list Habbakkuk 2:2. "Write the vision and make it plain on the tablets. That he may RUN who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it will speak and it will not lie. Though it tarries wait for it because it will surely come..." And then pray and pray hard for God to show you more and keep you strong. Stay faithful in what you have in front of you no matter how small, no matter how tiny, no matter how insignificant it may seem. You never know what great things God will do with the little you have. And most of all wait.
God's been giving me so much to say on this, but for the sake of brevity... to be continued.
"i am not destroyed,
but i am about to break;
the process so tedious,
i appreciate a spider’s work;
give me liberty or give me death
is the plea of its prey but,
using silence i have something else to say
for freedom is my only option,
but i must be enclosed for a time
as mystery becomes my shroud
housed in a realm where patience
is the air i breathe i wait for
maturity to yield its supple fruit" -Tiffany Mariposa
Well just to let you in on a little bit of my story... A while ago God started showing me that my calling was in music and ever since then I have been striving to pursue it. Everyone knows it's not the easiest career choice, especially when it comes to doing it for the Kingdom of God. I don't have the exact vision laid out just yet, but its kinda like when God tells you to go west... you go west. No questions and really no answers. lol Against my doubts and fears, I started taking little steps and to my amazement God has brought me further than I ever thought I would be. But there's still a long way to go. God wants me to have an influence in music for His kingdom.
So recently I have run into a corner where it seems like nothing I do is really productive or useful or taking me anywhere. I'm having a hard time writing songs and staying focused enough to practice. I have been praying for a new job, something to develop me in the music industry (without having a degree or much experience), and then I lost many many hours at my jobs (i had four about a couple months ago lol). Its amazing how God answers prayers. I don't go to school because I don;t have money for it much less know exactly where I am supposed to be. On top of all that my parents (with love and concern) got on top of me about going to school and pursuing a real career, because thats what you need to do to get ahead in the world. So i am left with nothing... absolutely nothing before God (which I guess in essence is a greta place to be lol)
I'm sure somebody knows what I am talking about. The pressure, the fear, the worry, the doubt is completely overwhelming, especially when you don't hear God's voice clearly about it.
So I opened up to Mark 4:39 randomly while praying about it all. The disciples were in a boat and suddenly a great windstorm arose and the boat was covered with waves. And there's Jesus sleeping like a baby. So the disciples wake Him up in a PANIC and Jesus says "Peace, be still!" There is a great calm and He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? Why is it that you have no faith?"
Notice the fear comes on very suddenly. Its always when you've had a great week with God and you got into a flow of being productive.. your doing your thing, think you've got it all straight or at least starting to and then out of nowhere a huge storm! It comes upon you so suddenly sending you into a panic. Your covered in waves, overwhelmed by thoughts of the future. Well rejoice! Cuz you were doing something right! Think about it... Whos gunna try to crush you when your finally getting ahead?
And it probably seemed to them like Jesus had forgot He was supposed to take care of them. Like He had left them to fend for themselves. But like we see even in His sleep He has everything under control. He brought a great calm (in greek great means numerous, large, abundant). Peace.
So I say to myself (and to you, but mostly to myself) STAND UP and FIGHT! No more whining... No more looking at the difficulties in front of you. Start getting real with what you have and real with God's word. There's people who had to live in their cars just to make it and that was without God. If we believe we have to believe to the fullest right? It won't always be easy. In fact, i guarantee it will be hard. Don't compare yourself to others for their season of fruitfulness is not the same as yours. In a notebook, write down what you do see or want to see for your life and write above that list Habbakkuk 2:2. "Write the vision and make it plain on the tablets. That he may RUN who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it will speak and it will not lie. Though it tarries wait for it because it will surely come..." And then pray and pray hard for God to show you more and keep you strong. Stay faithful in what you have in front of you no matter how small, no matter how tiny, no matter how insignificant it may seem. You never know what great things God will do with the little you have. And most of all wait.
God's been giving me so much to say on this, but for the sake of brevity... to be continued.
"i am not destroyed,
but i am about to break;
the process so tedious,
i appreciate a spider’s work;
give me liberty or give me death
is the plea of its prey but,
using silence i have something else to say
for freedom is my only option,
but i must be enclosed for a time
as mystery becomes my shroud
housed in a realm where patience
is the air i breathe i wait for
maturity to yield its supple fruit" -Tiffany Mariposa
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Royal Club...
Hey guys!!!
So I just wanted to share with everyone some videos from a new an upcoming movement called the Royal Club, dedicated to expanding God's Kingdom through creativity.
I say movement because this is really more than a club, more than a ministry... but a real vision to inspire people to spread God's kingdom through Fashion, Art, and Music. There are so many things in store for Royal Club. Can't wait to see the people and lives God will touch through it.
So check out some of the things Royal Club has done so far, including our Alife retreat and music videos from some of the artists we support, including me. :)
Alife Retreat
Only One - Janet Mendez
So I just wanted to share with everyone some videos from a new an upcoming movement called the Royal Club, dedicated to expanding God's Kingdom through creativity.
I say movement because this is really more than a club, more than a ministry... but a real vision to inspire people to spread God's kingdom through Fashion, Art, and Music. There are so many things in store for Royal Club. Can't wait to see the people and lives God will touch through it.
So check out some of the things Royal Club has done so far, including our Alife retreat and music videos from some of the artists we support, including me. :)
Alife Retreat
Only One - Janet Mendez
Friday, June 11, 2010
NEW MUSIC VIDEO!!! :)
Well I'm very excited cuz I finally have my first "music video" up on youtube! Woot woot! An very talented George Searight filmed it during a music session at my friend Chris's house and I've been waiting for its official release. Its finally here! This is actually one of my first songs that I wrote for worship a little while back. It's actually called "Let Your Presence Fall" but we won't hurt G for that one. lol I hope you enjoy! Please comment and let me know what you think! Id really appreciate it! God bless.
"Let Your Presence Fall"
"Let Your Presence Fall"
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
LOVE.
When I was praying this morning I got this little design that just popped up in my head. So I made it real on Microsoft Publisher... :)
I guess its purpose was just to serve as a reminder to just... LOVE.
No strings attached, no obligation, no partiality, no conditions. Just to love.
I see love as black and white. We either choose to love or not.
In each moment we have a choice. Love the world or Love God. Show love to someone or withhold it.
Every second we are alive is proof that God chose to love us, otherwise I'm pretty sure He would have been fed up with us along time ago. So I guess my goal is to apply the same rule to everyone.
Hope this helps someone else too!
God bless!
I guess its purpose was just to serve as a reminder to just... LOVE.
No strings attached, no obligation, no partiality, no conditions. Just to love.
I see love as black and white. We either choose to love or not.
In each moment we have a choice. Love the world or Love God. Show love to someone or withhold it.
Every second we are alive is proof that God chose to love us, otherwise I'm pretty sure He would have been fed up with us along time ago. So I guess my goal is to apply the same rule to everyone.
Hope this helps someone else too!
God bless!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Relationships... Part Deux
I definitely think this is a hot topic always. There will probably be many many more blogs on this subject... so ill have to start thinking of new titles for it. lol
Topic of discussion: "Dating Prepares you for divorce." -Lisa Bevere
Ok so before you get all gung ho about this take a minute to broaden the mind for a moment to think about what dating really is...
Dating deals with mostly outward things (what they look like physically, compatibilities, kissing, holding hands, and cuddling n what not) so through dating you pretty much get attached to the person very quickly just through butterflies in the stomach, and all those lovey dovey feelings... Many people say "Dating is just so you get to know the person more and see if your compatible." But let's be real for a minute here... Dating wouldn't be dating if it didn't involve the physical. Otherwise you would just be good friends.
With dating, you think your getting to know each other but in reality it actually skips all of that. Your jumping from just meeting the person into, going out with them, then holding hands, then hugging, then kissing, then eventually for most sex. Through all this we just form this huge attachment, mostly through touch. We begin equate love with touch, thats all. It's mainly all about giving alot of yourself to this person before you really know them. And I'm not just talking about your body... your heart as well.
Its like we've got it all backwards. We start dating the person and getting intimate with them in order to get to know them? Doing it this way will set us up for divorce. It shud be the other way around.
Get to know the person as a friend; Who are they really when they are not tryin to impress you or compromise themselves to make you happy? Get to know them personally and spiritually, not just what they like an dislike. What do they value? How do they treat others? How do they treat themselves? What do they believe? Do all these things match with your values and beliefs? Otherwise ull find out later on when ur married after the butterflies have moved into ur intestines and out thru the.. well u know... they're gone... ull find out that you had alot less in common than you thought and it was all just a really strong attachment.
The whole concept of dating sets us up for this idea that you can just jump in and out of relationships. Date one guy... dont like him?... get out of it... move on to the next. It gives us a false idea of what true relationships are. No wonder why there are so many people getting divorced. They've taking the idea of dating and applied it to marriage.
True relationships are a commitment.
Well I'm going to keep this one short...ish. But I would definitely like to hear what you think so feel free to comment. God bless!!!
Topic of discussion: "Dating Prepares you for divorce." -Lisa Bevere
Ok so before you get all gung ho about this take a minute to broaden the mind for a moment to think about what dating really is...
Dating deals with mostly outward things (what they look like physically, compatibilities, kissing, holding hands, and cuddling n what not) so through dating you pretty much get attached to the person very quickly just through butterflies in the stomach, and all those lovey dovey feelings... Many people say "Dating is just so you get to know the person more and see if your compatible." But let's be real for a minute here... Dating wouldn't be dating if it didn't involve the physical. Otherwise you would just be good friends.
With dating, you think your getting to know each other but in reality it actually skips all of that. Your jumping from just meeting the person into, going out with them, then holding hands, then hugging, then kissing, then eventually for most sex. Through all this we just form this huge attachment, mostly through touch. We begin equate love with touch, thats all. It's mainly all about giving alot of yourself to this person before you really know them. And I'm not just talking about your body... your heart as well.
Its like we've got it all backwards. We start dating the person and getting intimate with them in order to get to know them? Doing it this way will set us up for divorce. It shud be the other way around.
Get to know the person as a friend; Who are they really when they are not tryin to impress you or compromise themselves to make you happy? Get to know them personally and spiritually, not just what they like an dislike. What do they value? How do they treat others? How do they treat themselves? What do they believe? Do all these things match with your values and beliefs? Otherwise ull find out later on when ur married after the butterflies have moved into ur intestines and out thru the.. well u know... they're gone... ull find out that you had alot less in common than you thought and it was all just a really strong attachment.
The whole concept of dating sets us up for this idea that you can just jump in and out of relationships. Date one guy... dont like him?... get out of it... move on to the next. It gives us a false idea of what true relationships are. No wonder why there are so many people getting divorced. They've taking the idea of dating and applied it to marriage.
True relationships are a commitment.
Well I'm going to keep this one short...ish. But I would definitely like to hear what you think so feel free to comment. God bless!!!
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