Relationships...

I was talking to a friend today and I was inspired to write this...

Discussing relationships is a huge passion of mine. It breaks my heart when I see girls lost and confused because of bad relationships. I've been through my fair share of bad relationships fully equipped with heartbreak, frustration, disappointment, pain and stress. But I Thank God that he has brought me through everything I have been through because I learned so much from it all. We need to learn how to have the right relationships.
So I figure I would just write a list of some lessons that I've learned and maybe it will help someone else...

1) No man will ever satisfy you or complete you. Don't buy in to what the world says. You don't need a man to make you complete or happy and you will never be fully satisfied in him alone. I don't care if you have found yourself the perfect man trapped inside Hugh Jackman's body... he will never bring you complete happiness.

2) You must be complete in God before finding the right one. God is the one who created us and knows us. He is the one who makes us complete and then gives us a companion to share our lives with. We try to find partners who have the qualities that we lack. We look at them and say "I love him because he is everything I am not." But Look at Adam. He was perfectly content with himself before God gave him Eve. He knew God; he had a purpose. He had everything he needed, Eve wasn't given to Adam to make up for what he lacked. She was given to him to help bring out of him even more. They were both complete in themselves, but still benefited each other.

3) Know who you are. In knowing God, you come to find out more about who you are and who He made you to be. You begin to see things more clearly like your desires, preferences, your gifts, your values.... All these things are what God has placed inside of you that make you you. You need to be confident in knowing who you are, because the minute you get into a relationship, that other person will begin to influence you with who they are. If you are not strong in who you are you will finding yourself changing into who they want you to be. God has prepared someone for you who will continue to help, not hinder you from becoming who you are and vice versa.

4) Know what you are worth. I like to think of it this way. Picture an apple tree. Now picture yourself as an apple on the tree. The apples at the bottom of the tree can be easily plucked or picked up off the ground by guys passing by. These are usually the bruised or rotten apples, the apples that get kicked along the way or the ones that are half bitten. But the apples at the very top of the tree are the ones that are ripe, delicious, bright, and shiny. However, anyone who wants those apples will have to climb the tree to get it. They will have to work for it. You are worth working for.

5) Stop settling for less... in other words stop compromising. I hear so many women complain about their significant others. He never does this, I can't trust him, he makes me feel horrible about myself... As women we know what we want and yet we constantly settle for this. We have this picture of what we need in a man and yet we settle for less. We compromise what we value and believe just to say that we are with somebody. Don't settle. This does not mean demand perfection, but if respect is what you value and need in a relationship, don't settle for someone who makes you feel disrespected.

6) Your values must match. If you do not value the same things, then the relationship will not work out. You may be able to slip past little disagreements now, but eventually these things will pop up again. You will just get completely frustrated in the relationship and feel unfulfilled if he doesn't value the same things. Especially when it comes down to your belief in God.

7) Be true to yourself. If you know the relationship is not benefitting you, then you need to get out of it. The point of being in a relationship is that both people benefit the other, helping them to grow and bring out the best in them. If that is not the case in your relationship then you need to admit it to yourself despite whatever feelings you may have. A relationship cannot ride on feelings alone.

8) Step outside yourself. The best way to be true to yourself is to step outside of yourself and take a look. Step outside of your emotions and attachments to this person. Start thinking logically. Start thinking Biblically. Think 1 Corinthians 13:4. Everyone knows it. It explains what love is. Compare your relationship to this scripture. Compare it to other scriptures of what a husband should be and then see where your relationship stands. Don't let emotions be the only thing holding you to this person if the relationship is not right. Think logically.

9) Guard your heart. Your heart is one of your most valuable possessions. Guard it. Don't just give it to anyone. Chances are they will misuse it and break your heart. Whatever you let into your heart will end up having an effect on you. Put your heart in God and He will always lead you into the right.

A quick word to the women. Rise up. Let go of these bad relationships. Start seeking God. Ask Him to show you who you are and stand strong in that. Soon enough He will prepare you for the right one and I can promise you it will be a thousand times greater than whatever you have now. :) God bless.