Why is it you have no faith?

So the other morning I woke up in a serious panic. What am I doing with my life? I've got no real job, no money coming in... I'm 22 and sure I'm living for God, but what is it really getting me? I don't see any fruit. Does what I am doing even matter? Safe to say that was a huge load to be waking up under. Sometimes the mind just goes crazy.

Well just to let you in on a little bit of my story... A while ago God started showing me that my calling was in music and ever since then I have been striving to pursue it. Everyone knows it's not the easiest career choice, especially when it comes to doing it for the Kingdom of God. I don't have the exact vision laid out just yet, but its kinda like when God tells you to go west... you go west. No questions and really no answers. lol Against my doubts and fears, I started taking little steps and to my amazement God has brought me further than I ever thought I would be. But there's still a long way to go. God wants me to have an influence in music for His kingdom.

So recently I have run into a corner where it seems like nothing I do is really productive or useful or taking me anywhere. I'm having a hard time writing songs and staying focused enough to practice. I have been praying for a new job, something to develop me in the music industry (without having a degree or much experience), and then I lost many many hours at my jobs (i had four about a couple months ago lol). Its amazing how God answers prayers. I don't go to school because I don;t have money for it much less know exactly where I am supposed to be. On top of all that my parents (with love and concern) got on top of me about going to school and pursuing a real career, because thats what you need to do to get ahead in the world. So i am left with nothing... absolutely nothing before God (which I guess in essence is a greta place to be lol)

I'm sure somebody knows what I am talking about. The pressure, the fear, the worry, the doubt is completely overwhelming, especially when you don't hear God's voice clearly about it.

So I opened up to Mark 4:39 randomly while praying about it all. The disciples were in a boat and suddenly a great windstorm arose and the boat was covered with waves. And there's Jesus sleeping like a baby. So the disciples wake Him up in a PANIC and Jesus says "Peace, be still!" There is a great calm and He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? Why is it that you have no faith?"

Notice the fear comes on very suddenly. Its always when you've had a great week with God and you got into a flow of being productive.. your doing your thing, think you've got it all straight or at least starting to and then out of nowhere a huge storm! It comes upon you so suddenly sending you into a panic. Your covered in waves, overwhelmed by thoughts of the future. Well rejoice! Cuz you were doing something right! Think about it... Whos gunna try to crush you when your finally getting ahead?
And it probably seemed to them like Jesus had forgot He was supposed to take care of them. Like He had left them to fend for themselves. But like we see even in His sleep He has everything under control. He brought a great calm (in greek great means numerous, large, abundant). Peace.

So I say to myself (and to you, but mostly to myself) STAND UP and FIGHT! No more whining... No more looking at the difficulties in front of you. Start getting real with what you have and real with God's word. There's people who had to live in their cars just to make it and that was without God. If we believe we have to believe to the fullest right? It won't always be easy. In fact, i guarantee it will be hard. Don't compare yourself to others for their season of fruitfulness is not the same as yours. In a notebook, write down what you do see or want to see for your life and write above that list Habbakkuk 2:2. "Write the vision and make it plain on the tablets. That he may RUN who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it will speak and it will not lie. Though it tarries wait for it because it will surely come..." And then pray and pray hard for God to show you more and keep you strong. Stay faithful in what you have in front of you no matter how small, no matter how tiny, no matter how insignificant it may seem. You never know what great things God will do with the little you have. And most of all wait.

God's been giving me so much to say on this, but for the sake of brevity... to be continued.

"i am not destroyed,
but i am about to break;
the process so tedious,
i appreciate a spider’s work;
give me liberty or give me death
is the plea of its prey but,
using silence i have something else to say
for freedom is my only option,
but i must be enclosed for a time
as mystery becomes my shroud
housed in a realm where patience
is the air i breathe i wait for
maturity to yield its supple fruit" -Tiffany Mariposa

Royal Club...

Hey guys!!!

So I just wanted to share with everyone some videos from a new an upcoming movement called the Royal Club, dedicated to expanding God's Kingdom through creativity.

I say movement because this is really more than a club, more than a ministry... but a real vision to inspire people to spread God's kingdom through Fashion, Art, and Music. There are so many things in store for Royal Club. Can't wait to see the people and lives God will touch through it.

So check out some of the things Royal Club has done so far, including our Alife retreat and music videos from some of the artists we support, including me. :)


Alife Retreat


Only One - Janet Mendez

NEW MUSIC VIDEO!!! :)

Well I'm very excited cuz I finally have my first "music video" up on youtube! Woot woot! An very talented George Searight filmed it during a music session at my friend Chris's house and I've been waiting for its official release. Its finally here! This is actually one of my first songs that I wrote for worship a little while back. It's actually called "Let Your Presence Fall" but we won't hurt G for that one. lol I hope you enjoy! Please comment and let me know what you think! Id really appreciate it! God bless.

"Let Your Presence Fall"

LOVE.

When I was praying this morning I got this little design that just popped up in my head. So I made it real on Microsoft Publisher... :)




I guess its purpose was just to serve as a reminder to just... LOVE.

No strings attached, no obligation, no partiality, no conditions. Just to love.

I see love as black and white. We either choose to love or not.

In each moment we have a choice. Love the world or Love God. Show love to someone or withhold it.

Every second we are alive is proof that God chose to love us, otherwise I'm pretty sure He would have been fed up with us along time ago. So I guess my goal is to apply the same rule to everyone.

Hope this helps someone else too!

God bless!

Relationships... Part Deux

I definitely think this is a hot topic always. There will probably be many many more blogs on this subject... so ill have to start thinking of new titles for it. lol

Topic of discussion: "Dating Prepares you for divorce." -Lisa Bevere

Ok so before you get all gung ho about this take a minute to broaden the mind for a moment to think about what dating really is...

Dating deals with mostly outward things (what they look like physically, compatibilities, kissing, holding hands, and cuddling n what not) so through dating you pretty much get attached to the person very quickly just through butterflies in the stomach, and all those lovey dovey feelings... Many people say "Dating is just so you get to know the person more and see if your compatible." But let's be real for a minute here... Dating wouldn't be dating if it didn't involve the physical. Otherwise you would just be good friends.

With dating, you think your getting to know each other but in reality it actually skips all of that. Your jumping from just meeting the person into, going out with them, then holding hands, then hugging, then kissing, then eventually for most sex. Through all this we just form this huge attachment, mostly through touch. We begin equate love with touch, thats all. It's mainly all about giving alot of yourself to this person before you really know them. And I'm not just talking about your body... your heart as well.

Its like we've got it all backwards. We start dating the person and getting intimate with them in order to get to know them? Doing it this way will set us up for divorce. It shud be the other way around.

Get to know the person as a friend; Who are they really when they are not tryin to impress you or compromise themselves to make you happy? Get to know them personally and spiritually, not just what they like an dislike. What do they value? How do they treat others? How do they treat themselves? What do they believe? Do all these things match with your values and beliefs? Otherwise ull find out later on when ur married after the butterflies have moved into ur intestines and out thru the.. well u know... they're gone... ull find out that you had alot less in common than you thought and it was all just a really strong attachment.

The whole concept of dating sets us up for this idea that you can just jump in and out of relationships. Date one guy... dont like him?... get out of it... move on to the next. It gives us a false idea of what true relationships are. No wonder why there are so many people getting divorced. They've taking the idea of dating and applied it to marriage.

True relationships are a commitment.

Well I'm going to keep this one short...ish. But I would definitely like to hear what you think so feel free to comment. God bless!!!