Distractions...

Wow its been a while since I even looked at my blog. Feels good to come back. I ran into an old friend that I haven't seen since high school and he said "I've been reading your blogs and they really good! I was blown away" (at least thats what I recall taking from the conversation... lol may not be verbatim), but just hearing those words made me so happy that at least one person... who knows maybe more... was getting something from what I was writing. So I decided to pick it up again. Here it goes.

Well as you know alot of my topics focus on relationships. Why you ask? I don't know. Just something I'm called to write about. Deal with it! :) So during the summer I realized how much of my life was focused on relationships. You know "finding the right one" and getting married and what not, especially when all summer I was surrounded by the wedding plans of a newly engaged (and now married) couple. (Who might I say I love dearly, and have seriously taught me and prepared me so much for what's ahead by answering all of my crazy questions) Even while I am single (because I choose to be... just not the right season in my life) this concept of relationships still consumes alot of my mind from time to time. Little by little I lost sight of God and what I was supposed to be really focusing on. And its not only me... I'm sure whether you are single, or with someone or you have recently separated or broke up with someone, this issue absorbs alot of your attention. But I want to share Something that God showed me recently that I think alot of us can relate to... "You've been seeking in the wrong places. You're looking here and there. You're looking for this person, but no more. You don't have to go anywhere. I'm bringing it foward."

Let me submit to you a scripture or two... (Don't believe in God? Take the scripture for what it is and hear me out. Maybe it will still be of some help)

"As God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let Him walk... Let each one remain in the state in which he was called." 1 Cor 7:17

"I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. How He may please the Lord.... The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. This I say for your own profit. Not that I may put you on a leash but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction." 1Corin 7:32

Now the first one says in whatever state we are called, remain there. I like this because alot of the times single people are always thinking "Well when am I gunna meet someone? I have to get married soon. Time is running out. I'm all alone." But God is saying stay where you are at. Not forever, but you may not need anyone right now. This is where God called you to be for right now for a reason.

I think one of the most important things I learned while being single is that, being single is just the preparation stage for a real relationship. Right now I'm learning more about myself and relationships and marriage than ever. We tend to think that our partners are the ones that bring out the best in us, but Ill tell you now, no one can bring out all the potential and gifts in you than you and God. God is trying to say use this time that your single wisely.

How? Well lets move to the next scripture. It says that the one who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord. Let me give you another version.

"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."

Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. We were designed to want someone to share our life with and build a relationship with someone that both benefits and builds each other. But why are we trying to rush the whole thing? Alot of the time these relationships become a distraction rather than a benefit. I remember someone saying to me "Wow we spent so much time together I don't think I even had a chance to do the things I needed to with my own life." Even being single, the thoughts of finding someone alone are enough to consume alot of the space in your brain that should be used for figuring out what we want to do with our lives.

What I'm trying to say is don't be in a rush. Use this time to focus on the cares of the Lord. (And that's when you say "PSSSHHH! There she goes getting all religious again! UGH) But don't you realize? The cares of God are about you! Here's someone who wants to focus all his attention on you. You don't get any better than that. All He wants is what's best for you. He wants you to use this time, not to be constantly consumed with relationship issues or to put your whole self into someone else (there's a time and place for that... marriage) But right now He wants you to get to know Him. Focus on Him so He can tell you about you. You have so much more inside you than what you see. You have a gift, you have a purpose, you have things the world needs that can only be done by you. But you need to figure out what that is and fulfill it.

It says The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy in body and spirit. The word holy means WHOLE. God wants to make you whole before you allow anyone else to try and complete you. No one knows you better than your Creator. You don't know what to go to school for? You already went to school and have no idea still what you're doing with your life? (Yea alot of us were or are all there with you) Good thing is He wants to tell you. And guess what? your gunna love whatever it is because its something that He's already put inside you to enjoy.

And this doesn't only speak to the women either. This is for everyone. Use this time to find yourself. Find out who you are and what you want to do with your life. Your likes, your dislikes, your values, your calling... How can you expect to fully give yourself to someone else when you don't feel whole? Or how can you let someone get to know you when you don't even know you? Use this time to get to know what you want and need in life and in the meantime prepare for when God will give you someone. Marriage is the wrong thing to be wrong about so you better prepare for it now. Get whole. Don't be dependent on someone else to make you happy and "complete" you. The only one who can do that is Jesus because He knows you better than you know yourself.

And believe me, like Paul I don't say this to put anyone on a leash or restrict them, but only for benefit. Think about it. In order to get life straight you need to avoid distractions. Relationships are one of the biggest ones because all we do is worry or simply let it take up too much of our time.

Side note: If you are currently with someone, please don't disregard this either. Know that everything needs balance. Evaluate your relationship. How much does it consume your energy, time, thoughts, and emotions that could otherwise be spent figuring out just what it is you need to do with your life.

In the right time relationships have their place, just don't let them distract you or complicate your life so that you no longer can see what you really need to be doing.

Sorry that was so long. Guess I had alot packed in me. Anyways Thanks for reading!!!